“9 year old raped and murdered. Body found on terrace of police quarters. Second such case in last one month in Kurla”. This was an article in today’s newspaper – 8th March 2010 – also celebrated as International Women’s Day. Why only one day in a year ? What is the purpose behind this farce ? We all as women and even the men should honestly ask ourselves are women truly “empowered” ?
Every day one hears about women being raped, femal infanticide, dowry deaths, physical, mental and emotional abuse to women. Are we supposed to celebrate this ?
Even we, the supposedly educated, economically independent women – what is our plight ? Yes, the going is still good for us. It could have been much worse. We feel we are better off than our mothers, grandmothers and great grandmothers who did not go out to earn a living and were only homemakers. Are we truly better off ? Women have changed their mindset and have set foot out, supplement the income and juggle the house work. How many men have changed their mindsets and agreed to help the working woman with housework. A few, I agree, have changed ? But what of the rest ? Who come home and are too tired to do anything. On the other hand the woman will come home and cook and clean and look after the kids, their homework, extended families and a hundred other things. She has to bear the brunt of it. Are we celebrating this ? It’s a raw deal I say!
And of course in today’s times of “super” everything we convince ourselves that we are “super women” – super moms, super workers in office, super daughters and wives and daughter inlaws. And in the bargain what ? We will get up one day and realize life has passed us by … we may become bitter or we may just go on to make the most of what time we have left – live for ourselves. But even then we are not happy – it has been ingrained in us from childhood – that women should derive happiness from doing for others !!
Stereotypes have to change. Our mindsets and attitudes and the way we deal with children whether boy or girl from the time they are born have to change. There is such a hoola balu on the Women’s Reservation Bill which has been hanging in mid air for a decade. What more can I say ? Is this really cause of celebration on International Women’s Day ?
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Saturday, February 13, 2010
A life snuffed out........... and for what ?
I went to visit someone in the hospital today, and while returing found the foyer full of college kids. It so happened that two children were involved in an accident and the girl had died. I left with a heavy heart. No face, no name, no one even distantly related to me. But ... I felt sorrow ... followed by anger.
Why do we take our lives for granted ? Why do we feel that nothing can happen to US ? Things like this happen only to OTHERS. In our zest for living why do we forget that things are not in our hands ... even if it is our own life.
The papers are full of it .. youngster dies in car/motorbike accident. Driving at unmentionable speeds. Our roads are not equipped to deal with such high speeds.
To top it all we thrive on breaking rules. We don't even have the time to wait 30 seconds for the signal to change to green. This disregard is not only towards ourselves but to "someone out there" who for no fault of his bears the brunt.
Do we not think of who we leave behind ? What will they go through ?
A life snuffed out .................. in a second................ in a moment of false bravado, or for a few minutes of cheap thrills. What of the one who has to go on - a parent, a sibling, a friend ...... no one knows for how long .. with the guilt that they could have prevented it.... devastated that their loved one went in a moment of sheer madness, a moment of carelessness. A life full of only "IFs".
When will we learn ?
Why do we take our lives for granted ? Why do we feel that nothing can happen to US ? Things like this happen only to OTHERS. In our zest for living why do we forget that things are not in our hands ... even if it is our own life.
The papers are full of it .. youngster dies in car/motorbike accident. Driving at unmentionable speeds. Our roads are not equipped to deal with such high speeds.
To top it all we thrive on breaking rules. We don't even have the time to wait 30 seconds for the signal to change to green. This disregard is not only towards ourselves but to "someone out there" who for no fault of his bears the brunt.
Do we not think of who we leave behind ? What will they go through ?
A life snuffed out .................. in a second................ in a moment of false bravado, or for a few minutes of cheap thrills. What of the one who has to go on - a parent, a sibling, a friend ...... no one knows for how long .. with the guilt that they could have prevented it.... devastated that their loved one went in a moment of sheer madness, a moment of carelessness. A life full of only "IFs".
When will we learn ?
Friday, January 29, 2010
The small pleasures in my Life
"Rain drops on roses, and whiskers on kittens
Bright coloured kettles, and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things"
This song from 'Sound of Music' says it all or atleast most of it.
Sway wild lily's article on 'You all are welcome" set me thinking along these lines.
When you actually think of it, you need so little to be happy. Why have we all become so materialistic ? why do we feel that expensive things - be it clothes, shoes, jewellery etc will give us happiness ? And do they really and for how long ? We fool ourselves into thinking that we are happy with what we have bought - it feels so good to brag to someone that we bought this "branded" article for an exorbitant amount. For how long will that pleasure or thrill last ? It passes soon and then what ? We go out and buy something else - we feel we need - we feel is worth the amount we paid for it - we feel will make us happy. But does it ? Its a vicious circle.
Why can't we derive pleasure from the small things in life ? Cycling down a lonely road, walking in the rain, sitting on the beach watching the sun set, just watch the rain fall - see the crows and other birds huddled together soaking wet on a branch. That feeling of togetherness ... I definitely envy them.
Just think of this .. I love seeing birds coming onto my balcony to take a bath in a bowl of water I have placed there. Each bird has its specific time. The bulbuls with their red bottoms, the Indian robins, mynas and my favourite - the tiny sunbirds. They come in each morning at 8.15 the beatuiful blue black male squeaking at the top of his voice usually accompanied by the lighter green females. Its a delight just watching them bathe in the water. The male is very particular about his bath, even now when the weather is cold. He will religiously come in, have his bath, squeaking away in the cold. He will delicately dip his backside in the water and then his head. It seems like he is trying to coax his mate to take a dip too, but she is quite happy going after the nectar from the hibiscus flowers. After a couple of dips he flits around from one side to the other fluffing up his feathers before he too dips into a hibiscus for his breakfast.
After they have finished, the squirrels come in for their share of seed which I have left out for the birds and also for them. They run around amongst my plants sweetly nibbling and gnawing at something as they sit on their hind legs, gaily chattering to themselves. What a lovely sight.
Or just looking at a flower bloom - yes. I've seen it a hundred thousand times .. but each time a bud forms and then slowly opens I feel that thrill all over again. I wish I could find the time to walk down a tree lined road, only listening to the soft sound of the breeze blowing through the leaves of the trees. The braches swaying in the breeze.
Another thing which always brings a smile to my face is seeing the new moon. The beautiful crescent .. words can't describe the joy one feels looking at it. And better still is the night of the full moon. The beautiful big yellow moon rising .... It reminds me of my days in college when we would go hiking. If we happened to be out on a night when there was a full moon - boy !! seeing the low hills lit up by the moon is a beautiful sight. Crickets chirping an owl hooting somewhere.
Why don't people get their pleasures out of these things. They think I am MAD .. what they don't realise is - This is how I preserve my sanity in the rat race of life.
Bright coloured kettles, and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things"
This song from 'Sound of Music' says it all or atleast most of it.
Sway wild lily's article on 'You all are welcome" set me thinking along these lines.
When you actually think of it, you need so little to be happy. Why have we all become so materialistic ? why do we feel that expensive things - be it clothes, shoes, jewellery etc will give us happiness ? And do they really and for how long ? We fool ourselves into thinking that we are happy with what we have bought - it feels so good to brag to someone that we bought this "branded" article for an exorbitant amount. For how long will that pleasure or thrill last ? It passes soon and then what ? We go out and buy something else - we feel we need - we feel is worth the amount we paid for it - we feel will make us happy. But does it ? Its a vicious circle.
Why can't we derive pleasure from the small things in life ? Cycling down a lonely road, walking in the rain, sitting on the beach watching the sun set, just watch the rain fall - see the crows and other birds huddled together soaking wet on a branch. That feeling of togetherness ... I definitely envy them.
Just think of this .. I love seeing birds coming onto my balcony to take a bath in a bowl of water I have placed there. Each bird has its specific time. The bulbuls with their red bottoms, the Indian robins, mynas and my favourite - the tiny sunbirds. They come in each morning at 8.15 the beatuiful blue black male squeaking at the top of his voice usually accompanied by the lighter green females. Its a delight just watching them bathe in the water. The male is very particular about his bath, even now when the weather is cold. He will religiously come in, have his bath, squeaking away in the cold. He will delicately dip his backside in the water and then his head. It seems like he is trying to coax his mate to take a dip too, but she is quite happy going after the nectar from the hibiscus flowers. After a couple of dips he flits around from one side to the other fluffing up his feathers before he too dips into a hibiscus for his breakfast.
After they have finished, the squirrels come in for their share of seed which I have left out for the birds and also for them. They run around amongst my plants sweetly nibbling and gnawing at something as they sit on their hind legs, gaily chattering to themselves. What a lovely sight.
Or just looking at a flower bloom - yes. I've seen it a hundred thousand times .. but each time a bud forms and then slowly opens I feel that thrill all over again. I wish I could find the time to walk down a tree lined road, only listening to the soft sound of the breeze blowing through the leaves of the trees. The braches swaying in the breeze.
Another thing which always brings a smile to my face is seeing the new moon. The beautiful crescent .. words can't describe the joy one feels looking at it. And better still is the night of the full moon. The beautiful big yellow moon rising .... It reminds me of my days in college when we would go hiking. If we happened to be out on a night when there was a full moon - boy !! seeing the low hills lit up by the moon is a beautiful sight. Crickets chirping an owl hooting somewhere.
Why don't people get their pleasures out of these things. They think I am MAD .. what they don't realise is - This is how I preserve my sanity in the rat race of life.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
(Wo)man's Best Friend
The first thought that came to my mind when I saw him was "HANDSOME". He drew my attention - he stood out from the others - there was something about him that really appealed to me.
I remember the first day I came across him. I was standing by the side of the road and he brushed against me. I looked up startled and found him looking at me to see my reaction. I ought to have been irritated but wasn't. Looking into his brown eyes trying to read my reaction I certainly didn't have any negative reacton.
It became routine - everyday returning from work I would look out for "Handsome" as I called him now in my heart. The sight of him waiting expectantly, looking up at me with his beautiful brown eyes wagging his tail.
Yes ! Handsome is a stray dog. A dog who is "human" in more ways than one or am I insulting him by saying that.
What is it about animals specially dogs - they love so unconditionally. Its not that I have been doing anything much for him. Just a few words, a pat on the head a hug and occasionally a bone. Still he waits for me. Comes running to greet me the minuit he hears my car - like a long lost friend.
Why is man so different from his "best friend" ? Why do we lay down so many conditions ? Why is there always a motive (usually a selfish one) in any relationship between people ?
I have grown up with animals and the love and loyalty one receives from them touches my heart. Have we become more calculative and selfish because we have "more developed brains" ?
As Elliot said “We long for an affection altogether ignorant of our faults. Heaven has accorded this to us in the uncritical canine attachment”
I remember the first day I came across him. I was standing by the side of the road and he brushed against me. I looked up startled and found him looking at me to see my reaction. I ought to have been irritated but wasn't. Looking into his brown eyes trying to read my reaction I certainly didn't have any negative reacton.
It became routine - everyday returning from work I would look out for "Handsome" as I called him now in my heart. The sight of him waiting expectantly, looking up at me with his beautiful brown eyes wagging his tail.
Yes ! Handsome is a stray dog. A dog who is "human" in more ways than one or am I insulting him by saying that.
What is it about animals specially dogs - they love so unconditionally. Its not that I have been doing anything much for him. Just a few words, a pat on the head a hug and occasionally a bone. Still he waits for me. Comes running to greet me the minuit he hears my car - like a long lost friend.
Why is man so different from his "best friend" ? Why do we lay down so many conditions ? Why is there always a motive (usually a selfish one) in any relationship between people ?
I have grown up with animals and the love and loyalty one receives from them touches my heart. Have we become more calculative and selfish because we have "more developed brains" ?
As Elliot said “We long for an affection altogether ignorant of our faults. Heaven has accorded this to us in the uncritical canine attachment”
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
The Summer of 2008
I would often tell my husband that we should learn to dance - either the salsa, tango, waltz or just about anything - to get some excitement into our otherwise mundane lives. Time went by and that just remained a thought .. an idea .. and nothing else.
One find day I just decided to find out about some dancing classes or better still find someone to come home and teach us. We finally settled on someone over the phone and he was to come and meet us the next day.
As conincidance would have it - the neighbours kids happened to drop in .... just like that ?? surprising they had never done it before :~(. One thing led to another and they learnt about 'our yet to begin dance lessons'. The next day a group of dance enthusiasts had gathered at our house ... but where was our teacher ?? we all ended up having a dance party and were in the midst of such FUN when the teacher (Prashant) walked in. Well to cut a long story short, our dance classes extended till way beyond midnight everyday for months. It brought us all - big and small together. Fifteen years in the same building and we would only smile and nod at each other and then suddenly - every evening was PARTY time. Our home is always full of 'kids' now. Gone is the peace and quiet. A hair band here, a jacket there or a dirty sock. How come my empty home is full of all this ?? Believe it or not, we dont even mind. I derive great pleasure everytimg my fastidious husband pretends to show annoyance at all this. Ha ! does he think me to be a fool ! The last almost two years has seen many a love story start and end in this house. If the walls could talk - they would have a lot to tell.
One find day I just decided to find out about some dancing classes or better still find someone to come home and teach us. We finally settled on someone over the phone and he was to come and meet us the next day.
As conincidance would have it - the neighbours kids happened to drop in .... just like that ?? surprising they had never done it before :~(. One thing led to another and they learnt about 'our yet to begin dance lessons'. The next day a group of dance enthusiasts had gathered at our house ... but where was our teacher ?? we all ended up having a dance party and were in the midst of such FUN when the teacher (Prashant) walked in. Well to cut a long story short, our dance classes extended till way beyond midnight everyday for months. It brought us all - big and small together. Fifteen years in the same building and we would only smile and nod at each other and then suddenly - every evening was PARTY time. Our home is always full of 'kids' now. Gone is the peace and quiet. A hair band here, a jacket there or a dirty sock. How come my empty home is full of all this ?? Believe it or not, we dont even mind. I derive great pleasure everytimg my fastidious husband pretends to show annoyance at all this. Ha ! does he think me to be a fool ! The last almost two years has seen many a love story start and end in this house. If the walls could talk - they would have a lot to tell.
Monday, January 11, 2010
I lived a 'Friend's Dream'
Feroze always mentiones that Pranita would continuously talk about traveling. Today it could be Maldives, minutes later Alaska and yet seconds later it could be just about anything that caught her fancy. But, she mentioned to me once, that her dream was to go to "LADHAK".
One fine day in April 2009 this talk of going on a holiday to Ladhak started at home. Since we hadnt had a decent vacation for years Feroze suggested I accompany her. Once the seed was sown .... it was difficult to back out. Plans were made tickets booked and early August we were ready to leave. Sadly Pranita backed out at the last minuit and so did Feroze. May be it was only meant for me .
It was a safari from Manali to Leh and believe you me it was WONDERFUL. The joureny by road was amazing. The wild flowers growing by the sides of the road .. every hue and colour .. tiny flowers so exquisite .. you do start believing that there is a supernatural force -the Almighty.
Cannot put into words the beauty of the place. At the beginning we did see grass and flowers on the hill sides but gradually this gave to stark mountains. Mountains of different colours - Red, green, yellow, mauve and brown. Seemed like someone had really gone berserk with cans of paint. There was such beauty in the starkness of the landscape. Whether it was the natural formations at Sarchu - where the biting cold wind blew through our tents and ate into our bones; where initially even taking a breath was a big effort; or
Whether it was Nubra - at David's beautiful bungalow. I imagined Eden looking something like it - even a tree laden with 'the forbidden fruit' was there. Only one missing was 'Adam' :) Revelled in the peace and quiet over there. Relished the fresh apricots which went direct from tree into our already full stomachs. The peaceful night sky glowing with a million stars, brought to mind the nights we'd spend at camps looking up at the starry skies and singing 'Nights in white satin'. The thrill of seeing shooting stars every few minutes - Our wishes of a lifetime could have come true in one night. sigh !! it was just amazing seeing sooooooo many stars after years.
Thats one thing I miss in our 'developed world' - the simple pleasures in life - a bird sing, a flower in bloom, dew drops on the grass, a starry sky - the beautiful sounds of silence.
Then ofcourse there was the evening at Hunder - the one word that comes to mind when we think of desert is 'barren' but not with Hunder. The beautiful silver sand dunes surrounded by mountains - An awesome sight indeed. Never thought sand could look so lovely - the sun setting, casting its shadows on the mountains, the sands - ever changing colours. A feast for eyes - tired eyes. Refreshing to the mind !
The rivers of Ladhak - be it the Indus, the Nubra the Zanskar where I had my first experience of rafting - and boy ! did I enjoy it !! It was amazing.
Our final destination was Pangong Lake - undoubtedly the most beautiful place on earth. At the cost of sounding clichéd - it was a spiritual experience for me. The several shades of blue, green, mauve water - the mountains with their stories to tell.
When I was talking about Pangong to a friend - she said 'Naz you should be making love in a place like this' to which I disagreed. I was glad I was alone - I could let the beauty and the peacefulness of the place seep into my very being. Doing anything else would not be doing justice to Pangong - which holds a very special place in my heart.
Now after living her dream - I share Pranita's dream to go back one day to Ladahk - and more so to PANGONG.
One fine day in April 2009 this talk of going on a holiday to Ladhak started at home. Since we hadnt had a decent vacation for years Feroze suggested I accompany her. Once the seed was sown .... it was difficult to back out. Plans were made tickets booked and early August we were ready to leave. Sadly Pranita backed out at the last minuit and so did Feroze. May be it was only meant for me .
It was a safari from Manali to Leh and believe you me it was WONDERFUL. The joureny by road was amazing. The wild flowers growing by the sides of the road .. every hue and colour .. tiny flowers so exquisite .. you do start believing that there is a supernatural force -the Almighty.
Cannot put into words the beauty of the place. At the beginning we did see grass and flowers on the hill sides but gradually this gave to stark mountains. Mountains of different colours - Red, green, yellow, mauve and brown. Seemed like someone had really gone berserk with cans of paint. There was such beauty in the starkness of the landscape. Whether it was the natural formations at Sarchu - where the biting cold wind blew through our tents and ate into our bones; where initially even taking a breath was a big effort; or
Whether it was Nubra - at David's beautiful bungalow. I imagined Eden looking something like it - even a tree laden with 'the forbidden fruit' was there. Only one missing was 'Adam' :) Revelled in the peace and quiet over there. Relished the fresh apricots which went direct from tree into our already full stomachs. The peaceful night sky glowing with a million stars, brought to mind the nights we'd spend at camps looking up at the starry skies and singing 'Nights in white satin'. The thrill of seeing shooting stars every few minutes - Our wishes of a lifetime could have come true in one night. sigh !! it was just amazing seeing sooooooo many stars after years.
Thats one thing I miss in our 'developed world' - the simple pleasures in life - a bird sing, a flower in bloom, dew drops on the grass, a starry sky - the beautiful sounds of silence.
Then ofcourse there was the evening at Hunder - the one word that comes to mind when we think of desert is 'barren' but not with Hunder. The beautiful silver sand dunes surrounded by mountains - An awesome sight indeed. Never thought sand could look so lovely - the sun setting, casting its shadows on the mountains, the sands - ever changing colours. A feast for eyes - tired eyes. Refreshing to the mind !
The rivers of Ladhak - be it the Indus, the Nubra the Zanskar where I had my first experience of rafting - and boy ! did I enjoy it !! It was amazing.
Our final destination was Pangong Lake - undoubtedly the most beautiful place on earth. At the cost of sounding clichéd - it was a spiritual experience for me. The several shades of blue, green, mauve water - the mountains with their stories to tell.
When I was talking about Pangong to a friend - she said 'Naz you should be making love in a place like this' to which I disagreed. I was glad I was alone - I could let the beauty and the peacefulness of the place seep into my very being. Doing anything else would not be doing justice to Pangong - which holds a very special place in my heart.
Now after living her dream - I share Pranita's dream to go back one day to Ladahk - and more so to PANGONG.
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